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SU Review: “Steven’s Dream” and “Adventures in Light Distortion”

Welcome to “Steven Bomb 5” where five episodes in four days essentially make a five-part episode a la Thundercats, He-Man, Ducktales, Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers, etc. the only difference being that Steven’s episodes are 11 minutes in length. Also, I managed to avoid seeing the leaked episodes and this review is for fellow people who managed to wait until the airings on Cartoon Network in the US.

We start with “Steven’s Dream” which doesn’t appear to be sad, but it ends with Steven in tears. He recognizes a structure that in one of Connie’s books is a palanquin. When he tries to ask the gems about, Amethyst doesn’t know, Pearl is evasive, and Garnet says “DON’T GO THERE.” Frustrated that he feels he’s being lied too and the Gems’ lack of transparency in regards to Rose and Pink Diamond, Greg and Steven go to South Korea to see this palanquin. They see it, but they also see a blue one. They also encounter a pearl for whom Steven’s tears are flowing from and, drumroll please, Blue Diamond!

Greg approaches and tries to sympathize with Blue Diamond with the former losing Rose and the latter at the site where Pink Diamond was shattered. Blue Diamond then takes Greg to outer space which leads to “Adventures in Light Distortion.”

Steven and the Gems plan to use the Ruby ship to pursue as they deduct that Greg is being take to Pink Diamond’s Zoo to be an exhibit. After hitting the Rubies on the way, they go warp speed using the gravity engine. Since the Gems’ bodies are made of light, they are distorted to the size of the Rubies. Steven tries to make adjustments, but can’t get it right and they go super warp speed towards the zoo. Steven then feels despondent because he was rushing to rescue Dad and wanting to know more about the palanquin. Steven gets out of the BSOD, the Gems are back to normal, and we will continue with Tuesday’s episode (“Gem Heist”).

Here I’m going to do something different with grading. I’ll grade all five episodes after Thursday’s episode since this is de facto a five-part arc much like certain shows in the 1980s did. We are formally introduced to Blue Diamond and she is a bit despondent about losing Pink. Certainly we’ll get to know more in the next three parts, but I have to say that “Adventures in Light Distortion” is one of those where it’s exactly what it says on the tin. I’m not sure if they were going for a bit of a breather before the big battle coming up, but there was really nothing much more than that.

Again, grades for all five parts will come Thursday.

StatManDan


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SU Review: “Gem Heist”

In Part 3 of the “Out of this World” arc, we travel to the Human Zoo where the Gems must play the parts they were meant to on Homeworld not to arouse suspicion. Garnet will break up into Sapphire and Ruby while Pearl acts like a pearl and Ametyhst as a guard to blend in with two other amethysts. They come across what presumable is the head of the prison Blue Agate. They take the nickel tour of the facility, ultimately “Esteban” gets separated from the group and is sent through the assimilation chamber where he does get to his Dad while the Gems await Blue Diamond’s arrival.

This is a world-building and exposition part of the arc it portrays Blue Diamond as someone who dedicating her life to carry on Pink Diamond’s legacy by maintaining the prison. We’ll see if the ‘merciful’ part holds up. Again, this part was setup for parts 4 and 5, the former of which comes on Wednesday.

To repeat, no grades until after the fifth and final part.

StatManDan


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SU Review: “The Zoo”

Steven meets with Greg in the Zoo and they are not alone. There are other humans who are descendants of humans captured by gems thousands of years ago. They have never seen Earth before. (Sure, this isn’t creepy.) Steven and Greg do through the daily routine which is similar to how a master commands a pet to sit up, roll over, and fetch a stick (Good dog!).

Steven and Greg to find a door that might lead to the way out. They are told that “long ago” gems entered through the door after humans were ‘hurt’. It’s not the kind of hurt that Steven gives Greg (seriously, I am not going to call him what the other humans are calling him). Before another plan, it’s time for “the choosening” which is gem for Spin the Bottle. Two humans are “choosened” to live together. Greg is selected to be “choosened” with a girl, but tries to get out of it because that’s not how things work on Earth (like when Rose and Greg chose each other).

When the rest of the humans attempt to choose Greg, Greg refuses and the other humans are “hurt”. Amethysts come left and right through the door to try to console the humans and one of them captures Steven and Greg before they could escape.

So we get to see how humans are held captive in the Pink Diamond Zoo, and it was done better in “The Cutie Map” with Starlight’s Village. It might have been the point to make these humans one-note since they have never seen Earth before, but not since the TV show Dinosaurs have we seen humans as pets (101 Dalmatians doesn’t count) and well, that’s how it looks here and it actually makes things a bit mundane. Hopefully, things will pick up in the fifth and final part of the arc.

StatManDan